From an outside perspective, it seems that he lives a very exciting, gregarious existence; he always seems so busy, happy, and overbooked with what life has to offer. Although it doesn't make any sense that somebody like Dan, who scores as an introvert, can exhibit almost all the typical extrovert's traits, there is something to be said as to how my cousin is making life his "work". Maybe all my cousin has to do is go to the mirror, flex and yell "YOU CAN DO IT", put on his extroverted face, and challenge the world. There is something to be said about the fact you can "learn" to live life to the fullest even with what society considers a "hindering" set of traits.
Though every introvert is different in their own way, I would like to explore the ways how a typical introvert can live their life to its fullest potential, addressing a few aspects that we have control over. I will focus on four different areas: friendships, relationships, career opportunities, and the idea of how to fake extroversion.
As far as relationships and friendships go, I would assume that introverts mesh best with similar introverts. We understand the importance of solitude and "quiet time". With friends though, having extroverted friends is a nice option sometimes. When we are feeling like having a kick-ass good time, it might be best to call up one of those extroverted friends. But if we want to just have a relaxing evening, it might be best to do this in solitude or with
a couple of those reliable introverted friends. Something introverts should keep in mind, though - as Cherie Burbach explains - is that, whether you are trying to meet new people or keep the close relationships you have already made, it's important to " schedule a limited amount of time that is comfortable to them to do a group activity", get out of that comfort zone once in a while, learn the art of small talk, and know that it's perfectly reasonable for an introvert to "have a fun and fulfilling life by having one or two close friends" rather than a multitude of friends.
If you're wondering about the chances of an introvert having any possibility of creating a long-lasting relationship with an extrovert, know that anything is possible. As I've said, we are not all cookie-cutter introverts and extroverts. You may lean more towards being an ambivert and could mesh with either an introvert or extrovert. It all depends, and it's all possible. As Dr. Nerdlove explains, there are at least three steps to take when trying to find that good balance every relationship needs. First, "discard any ideas you may have about what all introverts or extroverts are like and focus on the individual." Next, if stereotypes happen to collide, it's important to learn "to see things the way your partner sees them". Finally, in order to keep the balance, you must be able to compromise. These steps would be wise to keep in mind, not only in an introvert-extrovert pair, but with any type of relationship.There are problems that are bound to arise, and these three strategies could assist in any conflict that occurs.
Now, when you think of a fun job that you could really enjoy and thrive in, what would you think of? For most, it would be something along the lines of: salesman, cashier, and other face-to-face types of jobs. But what if you don't thrive best in these types of situations? What if, to get the best work done, it's best for you to be in solitude to think in peace and quiet? You may think that such a job might be dull or boring; but to some, it may possibly be their dream job. I, for one, see myself becoming an internal medicine doctor in the future, which includes lots of face-to-face interaction. But, as an introvert, I can see the benefits and ease of working in a sub-specialty medical field such as research or surgery that doesn't require the same face-to-face interaction that patient-heavy internal medicine requires.
On Careerfact.com, it is suggested that introverts are better suited for: finance/accounting, information technology, and education and counseling. And, similarly, according to Yahoo! Education, there are at least six jobs that would be best suited for independent, more solitude-focused work. They are: accountant, graphic designer, medical records and health information technician, financial analyst, computer programmer, and technical writer. Most to all of these professions provide the solitude many introverts need to thrive in, including a space where one can think deeply without distraction from external noises.
However, as Sophia Dembling suggests in the article "The Best Job for Introverts Is No Job (In Particular)", don't feel obligated as an introvert to only focus on getting a job that isn't "proven" to be best for your personality. As Sophia Dembling puts it, the best job for an introvert is "whatever interests them." You don't need to be confined to a particular job, because we are so much more than a statistic; we are more than just an introvert or extrovert.
Finally, the last subject I want to explore is the idea of 'faking it 'til you make it.' On Psychology Today, the message conveyed is that you can 'fake it 'til you make it'. Possibly like my cousin, you can work on simple things like changing your body language into more of an extroverted style. On a related note, as I understand, one can fake being confident by doing as simple of things like having a better posture; in time, I'm told one can trick themselves into believing they really are confident. Same with introversion/extroversion. As the article says, things like not keeping your hands by your side while you talk to somebody or increasing your gesture rate can probably both trick you and others that you are more extroverted than you really are.
On the online Psychologies Magazine, it explains - from Susan Cain's perspective - that there are five main strategies for introverts to shine in an extroverted world. While you may be able to fake extroversion for some amount of time, it's important to know your limits. The online article explains the necessity of: carving out 'restorative niches' throughout the day, looking for opportunities to have one-to-one conversations, identifing your 'sweet spot' - or your ideal level of stimulation, making the most of social media, and being true to yourself.
Now this blog's purpose isn't to sway any introvert into believing s/he needs to change herself/himself to live a happy and fulfilling life. In fact, if anything, I'd like to believe the opposite is true; be true to yourself, as Susan Cain would like all introverts to understand. The purpose is really to show that we all have the internal power to live an idealistic, happy and fulfilling life.
“Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people act like extroverts, but the effort costs them energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama. So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.”
― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
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